faraashah:

if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softy kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

(Source: niqabisinparis, via hi)

alotoflance:

does hannibal eat anything besides people like does he ever eat doritos

(via pizza)

jesusinc:

dennys:

*heavy breathing* we have hte bacon

dennys what the fuck

(via twerkinchickennugget)

painfullysane:

do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while

(Source: spenceromg, via hi)

phobias:

when a girl walks past you and she smells so good (◡‿◡✿)

(via pizza)

wifipasswords:

Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”

(via orgasm)

virginsluts:

2050 goals

(Source: pizzzatime, via oomshi)

Timestamp: 1398135586

beautypeen:

listen, i’m never going to let you use my laptop idk what exactly i have to hide but i’m 200% sure there’s something

(via santa)

rhydonmyhardon:

i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards

(Source: rhydonmyhardon, via santa)

cokeflow:

when you remember you have leftovers from a restaurant

image

(via orgasm)

dutchster:

when a dog is sitting in a car they probably don’t realize a person is making it go… they probably just think they’re riding a magic cushion

(via santa)

alalae:

I don’t hate school because “i’m a teenager” no i hate it because who the fuck wants to wake up at 6 in the morning and go to a place where all you feel is stupid and judged. yeah no one ok

(via chopchopalley)